bullet proof -[falling and flying]-
by wareme
Summary: A songfic to "Bullet Proof" by the Goo Goo Dolls. A deathfic, it includes extremely mild 1+2 pairing. Reviews are very much appreciated.


I do not own Gundam Wing, etc.  
  
  
  
  
Goo Goo Dolls: Bullet Proof songfic. My computer is a bit screwed up, so please forgive me of sentence alignment, etc. mistakes. This is a rather vague fic I wrote...actually my first finished one! Reviews are very much appreciated.  
  
  
  
bullet proof -[falling and flying]-  
  
  
  
"Ne, Heero, can't you just talk to me like a normal human being? You're so cold, Heero, why can't you just let me warm you up. . ."  
  
He shook his head, plastering his hands to his face. No, no, stop it, stop it. . .He desperately told himself. What would Dr. J say if he knew that Heero was succumbing to human emotion?  
  
"Ne, Heero, screw Dr.J! You can't live like this forever, you can't you can't you can't!"  
  
Yes, I can! Heero thrashed under the sheets.   
  
"Heero, are you happy? You can't say you are, man! Itai, it hurts. . .to see you like this. . ."  
  
Am I happy? Heero asked himself. He shook his head deliberately. I can't be happy, he thought. His eyes opened wide.  
  
"Heero, Heero, I'm crying. . .you see that, right? I'm crying. . ."  
  
STOP IT! he screamed. No sound rang through the thin, white walls. He panted, feverishly grabbing the corners of his bedsheets.   
  
"I live for you, man, you can't deny me, come on. . .But you won't give me anything in return."  
  
It hurts, Heero thought. It damn well does. His head throbbed. This isn't real, he demanded to himself. It's not! It can't be. . .  
  
  
[Do you listen to yourself  
Never live for someone else  
Do you like the way you feel  
Nothing hurts when no one's real]  
  
  
"I'm real, Heero. I am, just pinch me and see. . ."  
  
That voice! It kills me, Heero thought anxiously. It kills me more than self-detination will ever kill me. I'm dying. . .  
He sat up with a start. I'm having nightmares, he realized. That must be it. Nightmares.  
Shit. Soldiers did not need this crap. If there was one thing that denerved him, it had to be the nightmares.  
  
"Oh, but Heero, I'm not a nightmare, I'm a fantasy, I'm your toy, a toy you would like to play with. Wouldn't you?"  
  
Relena. . .he thought, Yes, that's it, the nightmare must be about Relena. . .  
  
  
[She wants to shake this scene  
Yeah she wants to shake with me  
She's not looking for the holes in all the lies]  
  
  
"Oi, man, I'm not Relena! The bitch wants you, man, you can't want her too! What about me? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. . ."  
  
No! Heero shook his head savagely. It can't be. . .That voice, the way it inserted "man" in between phrases, the way it cried the word "me". It just couldn't be.  
Duo.  
  
[I wanna bullet proof your soul  
Would you like to lose control  
I won't let you fall until you tell me so]  
  
  
He's dead, Heero told himself. He died. And he didn't even die while fighting. It was that cliff that killed him. I was so ready to jump, and he pushed me away and lost his balance. The fall. He'd never laugh again. He died watching out for me. . .  
A tear slowly trickled down his face. I miss you. I do, you were right, Duo, nobody's bullet proof. . .  
  
"Saa, Heero, not true. What about a soul? I promised to bullet proof yours, remember? I won't let you fall. . ."  
  
I've already fallen, Heero thought miserably. Duo! Come back to me, he cried silently. All he had left of Duo was that voice, answering his thoughts like the wind. . .  
  
"Heero, you're everything to me. And I told you that. Why didn't you tell it to me back?"  
  
[What are we?  
[Whatcha wanna be]  
Everything!  
That you wanna be  
All I need  
[Right in front of me]  
I've known before]  
  
I lost him. That fall didn't kill him. I did. Heero realized. I killed Duo. . .and I never told him how I felt. Damn Dr.J. Damn him to hell. The emotions were real. Oh, Duo, why did you save me? I was so ready to die. . .and you wouldn't let me. You shoved me aside and was killed yourself. All I really needed, it was right in front of my eyes. . .and I never noticed. I refused to notice.  
  
"Heero. . ."  
  
[Would you come my way  
Or did you burn out till the end  
Would you come my way  
Should have listened when you called  
My name]  
  
Tears flowing down his cheeks, Heero buried his face in his hands. I didn't hear you, he thought. I never heard you when you said you loved me. You showed it when you threw me away from the cliff edge. You called it as you fell. You almost flew. I wish you did.  
  
  
[Yeah she wants to tear you down  
And she leaves without a sound  
It's like fallin' backwards into no one's arms]  
  
No one caught you, Duo. . .I should have.  
  
"Ne, Heero, it's not your fault. . ."  
  
[You're a bullet through my soul  
And I'll never let you know  
I won't let you fall until you let it go]  
  
I can't let you know now, Heero cried miserably. You'll never know how much I loved you. . .damn you! You've already seized my soul.  
  
"I won't let you fall, Heero, remember that. . ."  
  
[What are we?  
[Whatcha wanna be]  
Everything!  
That you wanna be  
All I need  
[Right in front of me]  
I've known before]  
  
  
I'm dead, sobbed Heero. You're alive, Duo, you are. . .  
  
"Come back to me, Heero. . ."  
  
  
[Would you come my way  
Did you burn out till the end  
Would you come my way  
Should've listened when you called  
My name]  
  
  
I won't let you fall. Shaking, Heero lifted his legs off his bed. He stumbled across the room to his desk, where the moon shone in through the window above it.  
Heero calmly climbed onto the desk and opened his window. Balancing on the edge of the apartment windowsill, Heero looked up at the moon. This time his eyes shone. He'd meet his lover again, and this time he'd tell him. . .  
He jumped.  
And flew.  
  



End file.
